Good afternoon, everyone!!! This has been one strange week.  I’ve been super writing focused which is definitely a good thing in this career choice.  However, when I get like this other things transpire.  My brain goes into overtime on so many levels.  The rest of me seems to go into shutdown mode. I apololgized upfront to the girls I work with for my distant behavior and tried to maintain conversations that my brain didn’t quite focus fully around. After I finished my edits I knew some new writing was in order.  I really had a mind of grabbing one of the vamp/witch books to continue working on.  I awoke that morning with the strong sensation to spend the day with demons and demon slayers.  So that’s where I have been for days now, 🙂 This morning I got the surprise of a lifetime.  After all these years of writing one would think my characters would have no surprises left in store for me, or at least I wouldn’t be so surprised by the directions they seem to twist and turn me.  All I can say is WOW, this one punched me in the gut.  Leave it to Tor to do that, LOL.  I’m still in the aftermath of shock on where he’s turned this story.  Needless to say I have no more worries over this being a novella or a novel length.  With this new twist of fate, novel length will be no problem. Last night self-esteem was thrown into the thinking mix.  There was a wonderful discussion which kept the brain working long afterward, with the promise to resume the next time around.
This discussion started my brain working in a weird direction.  I thought about a woman whom I’ve recently begun to get to know better.  I knew from the first moment I met her, she would challenge me in ways I know I want to be challenged.  In ways I know is necessary for my inner growth.  In ways that scare me to death.  I look at where she was a year or so ago when I first met her.  I look at myself and where I was in that same time frame.  I also examined how our friendship has evolved.  I will be honest, I wasn’t of a mind when I first met this woman, not to like her.  At the same time I asked myself what was it about her that made me feel this way.  I realized right out of the gate it was because she would make me see those things about myself I ignored, I didn’t want to see, the growth I longed for, but wasn’t sure I wanted to delve into that apect of me.  It wasn’t her at all really that I didn’t like, it was I was trying to keep the aspects I seen in her of myself that I didn’t want to look at. Today, as we ran some errands, and even last night, when we went to this discussion group on self-esteem, I took that first step into opening my eyes to those scary areas and took my first steps.  Yeah, I’m still scared to death I will fall on my face.  However, I am NOT going to allow this to stop me from the adventure that awaits through this inner travel.
I guess you could say I’m now ready to embark on this unexplored territory. Everyone have a lovely day!!! Blessings to all!!!

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